High School Dilemma

This is a short story - non fictional poetry- It is about the troubles I was facing during my high school - the peer pressure, being bullied, and dramatic period I was going through. I wanted to send a personal message to all teens who are in high school that bulling isn't anything to play around with- that could damage someone's self esteem and maybe cause them near suicide. I also want to say peer pressure is also another weakness - could be with drugs, sex, following the wrong crowd- be your own voice and your own leader-you will succeed just be yourself and never let anyone tell you that you can't make it-

I also included a music video it's Awake-and-Alive by skillet hope you enjoy :)!

Once in a blue moon I think back when I was in high school, sometimes bad memories come up replaying in my cerebra cinema.

Do you know what plays back to me?

-     A shy girl that didn’t have the best shape, who walked down the dirty brown tile floor, keeping my eyes to the ground. Afraid someone would think I was mean mugging them.

I just wanted to hurry and go to class, ignoring anyone glances and faint whispers. At least I thought they were talking about me.

Trying to focus on the teachers lesson, I use to love raising my hand and asking questions. I would feel some glares when I brought something like this up,

 ‘Do we have any more work to do?’

As the teacher must have forgotten and brought everyone’s attention and responded,

‘Yes, I certainly think we do.’

Some grumbled others banged their heads on their desks. I flushed when the teacher called me out.

‘For that you get extra credit on your assignment.’

I sulked down low in my seat, staring at the clock as it ticks impatiently waiting for the period to end. I wait for the bell to ring and grabbed my stuff, rushed out of class and went to the next one.

I hated almost all of my classes expect for one. This was art, the only class where I felt free because I could paint away my frustrations.

Even though I felt so alone, I think about the good and bad times. The friends vie made, the guys I dated, how my adolescence developed me into a young adult. Till this day, I am still in love with art, poetry, and humanities.

Now I am 23 years old- if I didn’t experience some of the bad times, I would never grow stronger, so many thanks to the girls who threatened me to quit. Guess what, I have succeeded, I am still standing tall, you may have won when I was 16-or-17, when I was still maturing, when I had the innocent yet curious mentality, when I ALMOST followed the wrong crowd.

And for dating the wrong guys, I thank you for opening my eyes, knowing that I would be at the wrong place and time. I regret giving into my body lust, letting me become an object to their young affections-when clearly in my own imagination I confused love with lust.

Thought it would be cool to date the high school jock/ bad boy, but it lead me to an unpromising fate and now I can’t take that back, but you know what. I am fully blessed because I am mature enough to decipher the links between love and lust, for I am in love with a real man. No more high school dilemma- I’m very grateful.

So, the modest girl who took all the verbal abuse in high school has changed. It is amazing that I seen the folks who mistreated me has never seen the world in my eyes.

Have you noticed karma has a twisted fate- and I am never wishing that upon any of you? Instead, I thank you----------

Because I am awake and alive!